


Moments of Blood & Starlight

by bookwormyangel



Category: The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, OT3 if you squint, cleaning out my fanfiction.net account
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-30
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2018-10-10 08:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10433718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwormyangel/pseuds/bookwormyangel
Summary: Oneshot collection. Mostly Jessa with some Wessa and Herongraystairs. Completed in 2013.





	1. Charcoal

It was a hobby she didn't tell people about. She preferred to keep it to herself, a private and secretly stored thing away from the prying eyes of everyone. It wasn't like she was ashamed of it; far from it, really, but to have people look at the things you've created, with your bare hands? Tessa isn't sure she wants anyone to see. To judge.

Her drawings are vivid and bright, though they are drawn with charcoal. They scatter across her pale white pages, staining them black as she creates a new landscape, a new face with her bare hands, which will come away covered and stained black. Her lines are broad, but appear thin. There is no color, but there is implied color, like the blue of an eye, or the yellow of the sky when the sun sets.

It's hard to hide her secret hobby. People will walk in on her, whether she's in the library, her room, or somewhere random she discovered anew at the Institute. Tessa will quickly shove her sketchbook under any available surface, not worried about what it will do to her drawing, and try to avidly to hide her hands. They'll raise their eyebrows, but ignore the odd thing that happened right before their eyes and go on to ask Tessa for whatever it was they came for.

No one asks her why her hands are dry as toast, or why, under her nails, there are black rings, or why her dress has a black handprint down the side. She tries in vain to hide these little problems, but sometimes she forgets they're there. They have become ingrained into her very soul. They are things that she's experienced ever since she first picked up an old piece of charcoal when she was young and discovered it made an even better picture than crayons did, though Aunt Harriet scolded her up and down for drawing all over the living room floor.

The memory floods her, filling her mind as she thinks about how she dropped her crayons for good, using charcoal whenever she could. She likes to think they helped her improve her drawings, though she knows that probably isn't true.

Her fingers lazily drag the charcoal across the paper, a languid smile on her face as the fireplace warms her entire body, from the tips of her hair to the bottom of her toes. Her dress is light and nowhere near as frilly and heavy as usual, flowing around the large, overstuffed chair as she curls her knees to her chest, resting them on the arm of the chair and placing her sketchbook atop of them.

Without realizing what her fingers were mindlessly drawing, she realized it was Jem dully as she continued to focus on the way her fingers handled the charcoal expertly and drew along the paper carefully. The roaring fire gave the drawing something special; a shadow of lines, illuminating his fine collarbone, making his cheeks appear higher than Tessa thinks they are. She drew him at an angle, placing his body so that his head was turned and his eyes sought her out from their corners.

"Tessa?" a voice echoed through the library, and, startled, Tessa hurried to shove her sketchbook under the chair. When she pulled up, her eyes stinging and unfocused, she came face to face with Jem. His silver hair was illuminated white at the top and the tips, which tickled his forehead. Silver eyes looked down at Tessa, where she sat, still perched over her lap and hand on her sketches. "Jem," she said a little breathlessly, puling her hand out from under the chair and jumping up.

"What was that?" he asked, silver eyes darting to what she hid under the chair.

"Nothing," Tessa replied too quickly, causing Jem's eyebrows to shoot up into his fine silver hair. She shifted uncomfortably as Jem looked her down, a smile on his face. Tessa shifted from foot to foot and resisted the urge to bite her fingers, which would show Jem the black from the charcoal.

"Then what's that on your dress?" he asked gesturing out a hand to the dark black handprint. Tessa stuttered and watched as Jem reached below under the chair and withdrew her sketchbook, which was still open on her drawing of him.

Anxiously, Tessa observed his face, which stayed impassive. His eyes scanned each page with vigor, absorbing it all with his eyes. Several times, he ran his finger over several pages. When he smiled, Tessa relaxed, feeling her shoulders drop.

"These are wonderful," he said, lifting his eyes up to her. "Why haven't you showed these to anyone?" His tone wasn't accusing or angry, but mystified and wondrous.

"I…" Tessa didn't have an answer. Was she afraid because she thought they would look terrible? Did she think they weren't good enough? Was her work sloppy and unorganized? No. Those aren't things that worry her. It was the fact that they were of her friends at the Institute.

She had drawn several of Charlotte and Henry. Several of Sophie and Thomas, and Agatha. Even a few of Will and Jessamine. Though, now that she thinks about it, she has quite a few a Jem and Jem alone.

Jem was looking at her, his eyes inquisitive. Her sketchbook was open onto the last picture of him. Instead of meeting his eyes, she looked at the sketch, finding it easier to look at its eyes, rather than Jem's soft silver ones. "I think they're a little embarrassing. Most people don't draw their friends with charcoal." She hoped it came out in a joking way, but when Jem's smile fades, she stops her forced laughter.

"You shouldn't be embarrassed," he says, handing the sketchbook back to its owner. "They're wonderful. Quite something." He smiles at her and she finally feels all of the tension leave her body.

"Thank you, Jem." She says, her eyes shining and her hands tightening on her sketches. He nods, offering her his arm with a simple statement of "It's time for supper."

She now realizes that she was more afraid of people hating them, her sketches. But with Jem's help, she offered to show a few and everyone praised them.

The last drawing of Jem, however, she kept to herself.


	2. Orange

On a clear day in London, you can see the sky.

Of course, you need to be far from downtown for that to happen.

Tessa walked along a trail, her hand tangled loosely with Jem's. Their footsteps were soft, the stones crunching underfoot. Trees lined the trail, casting them in cool shadows and the sun was high in the sky, bright oranges, pinks, reds and purples racing across.

It wasn't everyday Tessa got to see a sunset. In fact, ever since she left New York, she hadn't even really been seeing them. The sky over the Institute was just like the rest of London: grey and cloudy and murky. Some days, you can barely see through the fog and smog coating the city in a heavy shroud. The sun was a giant, muted thing hanging in the sky, the rays not strong enough to push through the murk.

Tessa stopped, turning her face up and towards the bright orange rays. It had been awhile since she felt the warmth on her face. The subtle heat pushed against her face like a lover's caress, the soft press of heat like fingers as she moved her face around, a little smile on her face. Jem tightened his hold on her fingers, a smile on his face as he watched her.

The dying sun casted shadows across his face, making his light silver eyes shine like snow. His hair is a dull silver, but the orange cause’s silvers, whites and blacks to dance on his head.

"It's been awhile since you've seen the sun," Jem announces, still watching her.

Tessa only hums, eyes glued to the deepening pinks decorating the sky. He steps up to her, pulling her against his chest as he watches the sun descend behind the horizon.

They stay like that until the sun disappears, the sky darkens and chills run up and down their arms.

Wrapping their fingers together, Tessa and Jem trek back to the Institute, the rays from the sun still hot on Tessa's cheeks.


	3. Parabatai

Thank you to Hyperion (guest) for this idea!

* * *

 

 _Parabatai_. It's a strange word on Tessa's tongue. It rolls and curves in an easy manner, but there is so much more meaning behind the syllables. She doesn't know exactly what it means, but she associates it with the word "brother".

Jem and Will's relationship reminds Tessa of what she used to have with Nate; a fun, relaxed relationship. Of course, they had their spats of problems and hardships, but through it all, they were together. Brother and sister.

Jem and Will are  _parabatai_ , and to Tessa, they're almost brothers, even though both are so different, in so many ways. She watches, notices, how they act around each other. While Will is still his sarcastic, pompous self, he seems more relaxed, more comfortable, around Jem. Jem appears no different, but Tessa can feel ease rolling off of him in a soothing way. Usually, Will is closed off to everyone about everything, but when he is with Jem, his shoulders are loose and his footfalls aren't as heavy as they usually are. They laugh, talk, act, like normal friends, as if they aren't Shadowhunters who risk dying every time they go out to battle.

Though, Tessa can't help but notice their significant differences, like Jem's silvery hair and eyes and his delicate features versus Will's black hair and startling blue eyes and vicious features. Outside of physical appearance, their personalities differ to such an extent that Tessa is beginning to believe that opposites are more compatible. Jem is so relaxed and friendly, whereas Will is closed and contemptuous.

She wonders how she can feel so much for two people who are so different from each other.

 _Parabatai_.

It's a single word, but Tessa sees what it means.

And as she watches Jem and Will, laughing and talking in the library with no one else around, she knows that they are brothers, and would have been like that even without the _parabatai_ rune etched onto their skin. There are aspects of people that make us want to befriend them, and Tessa believes that their differences are what made them seek solace in each other.

Will says something that makes Jem laugh, and Tessa smiles, ducking her eyes and walking out of the library, her steps light and as quiet as she can make them. Will and Jem haven't been spending much time together and Tessa can't bring herself to disturb them.

 _Parabatai_.

Yes, she understands it now.


	4. Blood Stained Glass

Big thanks to  _the ticking clock_  for giving me a slew of ideas to work with!

* * *

 

"Miss! Miss. Tessa!"

It was distant, like she was floating under water. Shifting, Tessa realizes she is on the ground, lying on something quite uncomfortable. Her eyes flutter, once, twice, three times before Sophie's hands are on her shoulders, helping to tug her into a sitting position. Tessa groans, warm blood trickling from her hairline and onto her face.

"Miss. Tessa! Are you alright?" Sophie asked quickly, her eyes moving rapidly over Tessa in search of other injuries.

Before Tessa could answer, Sophie was swept to her feet by a worried Gideon, who like Sophie moments ago, searched for injuries. With a small smile, Tessa rose shakily to her feet, glass crunching under her dainty feet.

All around her, Shadowhunters from the London Institute were all in various conditions. Henry was grasping an unsteady Charlotte's hand tightly, Jessamine was standing in the corner, watching the events with disgust on her face, lip curled and nose scrunched, like she smelled something revolting.

Will was hunched over a body.

With a jolt, Tessa gathered her heavy skirts. Unsteady on her feet, she ran as fast as she could. Glass crunched under her feet and when she got closer to Will, the more she noticed red.

There was so much of it.

Tessa dropped to her knees, her eyes already clouded with tears.

"Jem," she whispered, her voice shaking.

Jem was lying there, chest hardly moving and blood pouring steadily out of his body. His silver hair was sprinkled with the red substance and his beautiful silver eyes were closed. Tessa knew he was pale, but as the blood slowly pumped out of him, he lost all semblance of color he had.

He looked like a sheet of music; his skin pale and the char black runes dark and intimidating on his skin.

His clothes were ruined, his waistcoat all but shredded and his white shirt stained.

Will was pressing both of his large hands over the gash in his chest, his fingers coated with Jem's blood. He was near tears, barely keeping his composure in check as he kept his _parabatai_  from bleeding out.

Grasping his hand, Tessa murmured things to him, asking him to stay with her, don't stop breathing, stay with us, Jem!

She almost didn't notice when Henry and Will moved him, taking him to his room for the Silent Brothers to care for him.

Tessa followed behind them, worry twisting her stomach into knots and fear of losing Jem causing her nerves to stand on end.

When they reached his room, delivering him gently to his bed, Will and Tessa where ushered out of the room.

 _You are his fiancée and you are his_  parabatai _. Neither of you can handle this as of right,_ Brother Enoch told them.

"What do you mean we cannot handle this?" Will lashed out, ice blue eyes furious.

 _You are emotionally compromised_. And with that, he closed the door.

Tessa watched silently as Will pounded on the door, his voice hoarse, eyes an irritated red. Looking from the door to Will, she rushed at him, pulling his now sobbing frame into her small arms. He slipped his arms around her waist, hugging her with everything he was worth as he pressed his warm face into the crook of her neck.

"He can't die, Tess. He can't," Will gasped out in a very un-Will like breath.

Tessa didn't say anything, but she felt the tears coursing down her face in rivulets, leaving hot, wet trails.

It started out as a normal day at the Institute.

Then the automatons showed up.

Hundreds, upon hundreds of them, descending upon the Institute in mechanical waves.

They broke through every entrance, busting down doors and breaking the glass of windows.

Gideon and Sophie were first to arrive, Gideon immediately jumping into the mechanical army and slicing them down. Sophie hurried away to get any one of the Shadowhunters that lived in the London Institute. Jem and Will ran into her while running full speed through the halls. Gesturing wildly down the hall, Sophie told them Gideon was in there alone. With a quick look, Jem and Will took off down the hall, Jem's jade cane ready to fight and Will pulling out a knife he had apparently begun keeping in his boot. Tessa was next to appear, holding a book in her hands which she promptly dropped once Sophie told her what was going on. Charlotte and Henry gave her a knowing look before following the path of everyone else. Jessamine only sighed and rolled her eyes, strolling along at a languid pace down the hall.

There was glass everywhere, and automaton parts were dropping just as fast as knives were being pulled out.

Tessa herself was fighting, between the backs of Will and Jem as she swung a blade an unknown face shoved at her. They were separated soon enough when more mechanical creatures descended down onto the Institute.

It was one second when Tessa had her guard down and an automaton grabbed her, throwing her across the room. She slid down the wall and landed in a heap, skirts flaring up as air filled them. Glass crunched underneath her as she fell, attracting the attention of both Will and Jem. In a flurry of motion, both young adults made a beeline for her, slicing apart the automatons with quick, sure swipes.

Reaching the young girl, both Jem and Will dropped to their knees, each of them avidly searching for deadly injuries.

And that was their mistake.

An automaton attacked them, grabbing Jem by the top of his waistcoat and flinging him much like Tessa was flung. He landed on a window before dropping, causing it to explode in a beautiful cascade of slanted light and deadly angles.

And deadly indeed as one imbedded itself in Jem's chest.

"JEM!" Will shouted, and, after moving Tessa out of harms way, rushed to the side of his _parabatai_.

Tessa didn't leave Jem's side.

She sat in a overly stuffed chair that Henry and Will moved in, clutching his large hand in her own petite one.

Brother Enoch had assured the pair that Jem would make a full recovery with minor scaring.

But that was a week ago and Jem was still asleep.

"Miss, you really should consider-"

"No, Sophie," Tessa murmured tiredly as Sophie finished plaiting her hair and lightly let it fall against her back. Everyone was telling her how she should get out and enjoy something, not sit cooped up in Jem's room.

Sophie could only sigh. Will couldn't even persuade Tessa to leave.

"If you need anything, Miss. Tessa-"

"Yes, yes, thank you, Sophie." she said quietly, her eyes on Jem. Sophie sighed sadly again. She may have once held a torch for James Carstairs, but she has Gideon and knows that Jem is in no better hands than Tessa Gray's.

Tessa sat vigil like that all hours of the day, even sleeping in the chair.

And it was one night, a week and two days after the accident, that Jem finally woke up.

Tessa was asleep in the chair, her head at a precarious angle, a book lying forgotten on the floor and her hand loosely tangled with Jem's.

The young man on the bed stirred, shifting several times before opening his silvery eyes. There was a lit candle near his bedside that shone a small, round circle of light around his immediate area.

And the first thing Jem Carstairs noticed was Tessa Gray, curled into a ball at his side, brown hair cascading over her shoulder in ringlets and her small hand encompassing his large one. With a small smile, he squeezed her hand. Shocked at the movement, Tessa's eyes flew open. "Jem?" she uttered, her lips barely moving as she registered the silver eyes she hadn't seen in over a week looking at her.

"Jem!" Tessa all but yelled, catapulting from her chair and into his arms. He let loose a little grunt, his chest still tender, but wrapped her up strongly. "You're awake," Tessa whispered, the happiness in her voice almost palpable.

Watching from the doorway, the door having been left slightly ajar from when Charlotte visited Tessa, Will smiled softly.

Yes, he loved Tessa, but if she was in love with his  _parabatai,_  who was he to stop them?

And when Jem pressed their lips together, Will reached out and closed the door, deciding to pester the both of them tomorrow, instead.


End file.
